So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
