Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
