I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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