I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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