where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm both gender and math confused
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
