dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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