No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
