My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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