I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
