Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
