Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
