I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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