Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
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She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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