do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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