I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I love you. Go after that dick
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
