3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
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I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
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I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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