It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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