Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
