just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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