Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
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Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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