dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
