There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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