you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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