I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Randomize
