I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
