Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
