I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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