I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
