Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
