i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize