ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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