the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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