I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sext me about skeletons
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
