So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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