you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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