I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We need to rekindle our bromance
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
