I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
