marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
