If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
They took my balls.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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