went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
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On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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