i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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