it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
