Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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