"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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