i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
