woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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