why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
