my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
