Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
