how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
