He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize
