i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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