Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
