Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
