How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.