I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....