So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
