these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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