Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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