two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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