Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
