Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
