The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
