i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize