True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
