totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
do herpes really smell.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
